link is drunk!
by elementalwarriorkellis
Summary: link is invited to a party and gets drunk. he acts really crazy to impa and zelda, but they get their revenge!
1. Default Chapter

link got an invatation to party at hyrule castle after ganondork's defeat. the party included  
  
princess zelda and impa, and the beer was flowing...  
  
ten beers later:  
  
"I feel pretty, oh so pretty,"link slurred. he looked wobily at zelda,"wanna shag with me all   
  
night long, yeah, baby," then he puked on zelda.  
  
"IMPA!" zelda screamed. "get rid of him for me!"  
  
the mannish-white haired impa observed,"your highness, you have vomit on you,"  
  
"i know that, you bitch! now if you were doing your job, this DUMBASS wouldnt have puked on me!"  
  
"chill, princess zelda.... hey?! what are you doing?!" she demanded of link's wandering hand.  
  
"i see london, i see france, i see pointy boobies...and OW i cut my hand on there.."link eyes rolled  
  
in thier sockets.  
  
"good! now keep your hands off me!" impa dropkicked him.  
  
"zelda! your man-hoe has donkey lips!"  
  
"donkey lips!" zelda giggled. "he called you a man-hoe!"  
  
"shut yer spoiled piehole!" impa snapped. " i am not a man-hoe!"  
  
"yes you are," link insisted. "you look like a man with pointy boobies!"  
  
"and you look like somebody whos going to get his balls kicked off!" impa retorted.  
  
"id like to see you try it, BOB,"  
  
"THATS IT! help me out zelda!"  
  
the next thing link knew he was thrown out face first into the street. everyone who saw him   
  
started laughing. " hey there SHORTY!" said a particulaly fruity man.  
  
three weeks later zelda recieved a letter from the kokiri forest.  
  
dear your highness,  
  
i acted really crass to you.with the success of my adventure, i celebrated a little too hard.  
  
please give me back my pants. i need them. my name is link. i live in the kokiri forest. i apolgize  
  
to your transvestite guardian. if only all people were as accepting of different kinds of people as you  
  
were. call me if you need me.  
  
link 


	2. link is high!

i dont own zelda.  
  
ganondork was selling blunts in the kokiri forest. mido stumbled around tp the know-it-all twins' house/  
  
"lets have an orgy!"  
  
"what are you smoking, you pervert? we're not suppoesed to have sex until were like twenty!"  
  
for the next few hours the only words coming out of the house were: "oh mido...your dick is so big"  
  
"what are you doing to my children, man of the desert?" demanded to the deku tree.  
  
"im selling blunts to make an honest rupee,"  
  
"no you're not," snapped the deku tree. " youre here to spread trouble like you always do"  
  
"im a nice man."lied ganon "so take a blunt"  
  
"how dare you take your foreign plant into my wood?....oh shit i see swirly colors.... thanks,  
  
ganon. ill send the boy without a fairy to see you out."  
  
"i want to sell my blunts"  
  
"go to your tribe of hoes and bang them all"  
  
"already did"  
  
saria wandrerd into links house. "wake up, link"  
  
"zzzzzzzzzz"  
  
"guess ill take off my shirt-"  
  
"wuh? saria what are you doing here?"  
  
"the deku tree wants you"  
  
"big freggin whoop"  
  
"link! its an honor to see the deku tree!"  
  
"im going im going,"  
  
"oh i should warn you about mido...hes acting really freaky. he offered me a strange plant today...  
  
claims the deku tree had it too..."  
  
link met mido shortly after."hey link. you want to fuck?"  
  
"no thanks" link said, kneeing mido in the crotch.  
  
"ow.... anti fairy! freak!"  
  
"youre the freak. you must be homo... i also heard you were in a gay orgy"  
  
"hey link? want this magic plant? i heard you smoke it and good things come to you"  
  
"sure what the hell"link puffed on the blunt.  
  
sometime later....  
  
"hey stupid deku tree"link almost fell over.  
  
"hey link. come get rid this bad guy and ill give you a treat.  
  
"what kind of a treat?"  
  
"weed"  
  
"hi"link said.  
  
"hi" ganon dork said.  
  
"let have sex. will you blow me?"  
  
a few minutes later....  
  
"lets invite saria in here too"  
  
"lets!"  
  
"um i have to get rid of you...."  
  
link kick ganon dork away. the deku tree awarded link with more weed. 


End file.
